Low-Effort Love? More Like a Wi-Fi Connection...

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At first, I thought it was cute.

The late-night FaceTime calls where we just scrolled in silence. The good morning texts that read “gm” - no emoji, no punctuation, just raw, unfiltered effort. The deep, emotional connection of sharing TikToks back and forth instead of having actual conversations.

I told myself, This is intimacy. This is modern love.

Spoiler alert: It was not.

Welcome to low-effort love, where relationships require less maintenance than a houseplant, and somehow, we’re all settling for it.

Phase One: The “Maybe He’s Just Chill” Delusion

I met him on a dating app (obviously). His bio was something basic like “6’2 if that matters” and “Just here for the vibes”. Our conversations were… fine. Nothing profound, but he was funny enough, hot enough, and emotionally available just enough to keep me interested. By this I mean, he was neither too hot or very funny or had a big crush on me. He was just, there I guess.

When Does Modern Love Turn into Digital Disconnection?

The red flags were there early on, but I ignored them.

He never planned dates. Ever.
The most effort he made was sending me memes that were funny, but not “I’m-in-love” funny.
Our deepest conversations happened entirely through Instagram Reels.

I thought, Maybe this is just how relationships work now? Maybe love languages have evolved past words of affirmation and acts of service to include “reaction GIFs” and “being the first to like your story.”

Are late-night FaceTime calls and emoji-free texts genuine intimacy or just a facade?

I convinced myself that if I just waited it out, things would progress naturally. (Narrator: They did not.)

Phase Two: Realizing I Was in a Situationship but with Less Effort

The turning point came when I casually said, “We should go on a real date soon,” and he replied:

“Bet.”

Sir. Bet??

That’s not a response, that’s a deflection with confidence. That’s a word you use when someone asks if you wanna hit the gym, not when your alleged romantic interest suggests spending time together.

But here’s the worst part: I still stuck around.

Because modern dating has lowered our expectations so much that if a man breathes in our direction and remembers our dog’s name, we consider him emotionally invested.

Phase Three: The Final Straw (or Lack Thereof)

One day, after weeks of only texting in memes, I decided to test him.

I stopped replying. I didn’t double-text. I waited to see if he’d actually make an effort.

He didn’t.

Three days later, I get a single Snapchat notification:

Him: “u alive?”

Not “Hey, I miss you.”

Not “Let’s hang out.”

Just “u alive?” - as if I was a pet fish he forgot to feed.

At that moment, I realized: This is not a relationship. This is two people mildly entertained by each other’s existence.

Why Are We Settling for Low-Effort Love?

Somewhere along the way, we normalized relationships that require zero emotional labor. Maybe it’s commitment issues. Maybe it’s dating app culture. Maybe we’re all just chronically online and too tired to function.

But here’s the problem: Love is not supposed to feel like a passive subscription service. If your partner is putting in less effort than your Spotify Wrapped playlist, it’s time to unsubscribe.

How to Escape the Low-Effort Love Trap

Raise your damn standards. If he can spend hours grinding on Call of Duty, he can plan a date. Being “low-maintenance” does not mean accepting crumbs.
Stop mistaking “he texted first” for actual effort. That’s not romantic, that’s basic human interaction.
Pay attention to actions, not vibes. If his biggest romantic gesture is sending you a funny tweet, that’s not love, that’s customer service.
Communicate or cut it off. If he “just goes with the flow,” that’s code for “I put in no effort and hope you don’t notice.” Notice it. And then leave.