Kimmel Jokes His Turmoil Cost Disney Billions at 2026 Upfronts
Kimmel Jokes His Turmoil Cost Disney Billions at 2026 Upfronts
Jimmy Kimmel jokes his political turmoil cost Disney billions at the 2026 Upfronts, ribbing rivals, promising a big Super Bowl promo, and more.
Jimmy Kimmel used the Disney upfront stage this week to deliver his signature roast of the TV world, including a fresh nod to his own dramatic year. The host quipped that his political turmoil might have cost Disney 'billions' this year, joking, 'Hiring me 24 years ago, just from a purely mathematical standpoint, was the worst personnel decision Disney Corporation has ever made.' He pointed out that no employee may have cost a company more, a line that set the tone for a night of self-deprecation and industry jabs.
He followed with a playful moment sending his faithful companion Guillermo into the audience with a collection basket, asking attendees to 'kick in a little extra this year.' He noted that Jimmy Kimmel Live has seen a 25% ratings spike among viewers 18-49, 'largely thanks to our partners in Washington,' but admitted the numbers are still low compared to the golden age of late night: 'If Johnny Carson woke up one day with my ratings, he’d have gone straight under the sink and drank Draino.'
Kimmel then hyped ABC’s upcoming broadcast of the Super Bowl, saying, 'This will be the first Super Bowl on ABC in 20 years and we are going to milk the bejesus out of it.' He added that the game would land on Valentine’s Day, 'just to be dicks.' The halftime show drew a provocative tease as he remarked, 'the whitest shit you’ve ever seen' and even joked about saying farewell to Bad Bunny with, 'Goodbye, Bad Bunny. Welcome back, O-Town.'
The ribbing extended beyond Disney, as Kimmel teased the broader TV landscape—mocking other networks and noting the upcoming departure of Stephen Colbert from late night. He quipped about NBC and Chicago in a line that underscored the season’s tensions: 'Seriously, is someone at NBC fucking the mayor of Chicago? I mean, Jesus Christ,' and joked that CBS is turning 11:35 into a leased time slot.
By the end of the routine, the upfronts felt like a meta-performance: a celebration of a media titan’s marketing muscle paired with a comedian’s candid take on a year of political headlines, all framed by a network’s push to monetize a slate of big events while keeping the audience entertained. The night underscored Disney’s ongoing strategy to blend blockbuster events with late-night humor, a mix that invites both laughs and a few headlines on the margins.
