Team Conrad, Team Jeremiah, or Team Self?

The Summer I Turned Pretty is one of those TV shows I've been obsesssed with over the past few years, the same way I was obsessed with Gossip Girl, Gilmore Girls, Ginny ad Georgia, and so many more. The Summer I Turned Pretty, with its dreamy aesthetics, tangled love triangles, and those moments of heartbreak, is one of those cultural anchors which i was in love with. It kept me on my toes every time there was a confessional scene. And at the center of it all is the question that’s sparked countless debates across TikTok comment sections, Instagram comment sections, fandom forums, and late-night conversations with friends:

Are you Team Conrad, Team Jeremiah… or Team Self?

At first glance, the question sounds really simple. Like Conrad: the brooding, mysterious one, the kind of boy who looks like he’s carrying the weight of the world around in his shoulders. Then there's Jeremiah: the sunshine, soft-hearted golden retriever energy, always ready to brighten the room. And then there’s Belly, caught between the two. But what’s fascinating is how this debate isn’t really about fictional characters. It’s more about us. It’s about what we want in love, how we see ourselves in relationships, and what we’ve been taught to expect from rom coms.

Conrad Fisher is the kind of character literature has been romanticizing for centuries. He fits into the “Byronic hero” archetype: moody, intelligent, emotionally complicated, and seemingly unreachable. He’s the kind of boy whose silence feels heavy with meaning, and whose distance makes his affection feel very rare and precious.

For some people, choosing Conrad is more about chasing depth. His character usually embodies the fantasy of being the one person who can break down someone’s walls, of being loved so intensely by someone who doesn’t give that part of themselves to just anyone, and it's so intimidatingly hot. And let’s be real: who hasn’t been drawn at some point to the “emotionally unavailable but secretly soft” trope? It feels intoxicating, and it feels like a challenge. Who isn't ready to take it?

Then there’s Jeremiah. Easygoing, warm, affectionate: the boy who wears his heart on his sleeve and makes sure you never doubt that you’re wanted. Choosing Jeremiah feels like choosing stability, joy, and the kind of love that doesn’t need decoding, and there's just this comforting feeling about him that gives me butterflies. He’s the best friend type who turns into something more, the one you can laugh with, and the one you can trust to show up.

Jeremiah symbolizes safety and celebration in love, which explains why so many people fall hard for him. Plus, he's hot. Come on. After all, why should love have to hurt to feel real? Why can't it just be that warm fuzzy feeling of having your partner as your best friend?

Now here’s where things get interesting. The fandom has been divided for years between Team Conrad and Team Jeremiah, but increasingly, a new team has been emerging: Team Self.

Team Self isn’t just about shipping Belly with no one. It’s more towards rejecting the idea that a girl’s story has to revolve around which boy she chooses. It’s about the realization that coming of age isn’t only about romance, it’s about figuring out who you are, what you want, and learning how to stand alone before you stand beside anyone else, and there's something so empowering about that feeling.

Belly’s journey is messy, emotional, and full of mistakes, just like all of ours. But isn’t that the point? Instead of defining herself through Conrad or Jeremiah, Team Self suggests Belly’s most important relationship is the one she has with herself. And in many ways, that’s the love story that most of us actually need to hear more often.

For example, when she moved to Paris in the last season after breaking things off with both the Fisher brothers, she chose herself. She became that version of herself which she had been imagining in her head ever since she was a kid. She was living her dream in Paris, learning the new language, making new friends, adjusting to a completely alien land where she had never stepped foot in. It's so empowering just even thinking about it.

I've talked to SO many people about this over the years. Asking which team they're in and why, while passing on my own opinions of what she should or shouldn't be doing. It was a whirlpool of opinions and the center of discussion for so many cafe dates. But after watching the last season and seeing her choose Conrad, I'm at peace with it. Although my personal opinion would be more inclined towards Belly living her dream life by leaving her past behind and moving forward with her new life.

Choosing Team Self doesn’t mean I'm rejecting romance. It means I'm refusing to make romance the only plotline in my life. It means recognizing that you can desire love without losing yourself in it. And that sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is not to pick between two people—but to pick yourself.

Because whether it’s summer love, our first heartbreak, or the ongoing story of your own becoming, the most important thing isn’t the team you root for. It’s whether in the end, you remember that you were always the main character of your story.

It’s you. Always you.