Have People Forgotten How to Disagree?

Imagine my college reunion - classmates talking over drinks - it's a beautiful time. The best ever. Beautiful students, very smart - the smartest ever, my teacher used to say. But the conversation? boring. Because everyone's too afraid to really speak their mind.

So I want to talk about something very, very important. Something nobody talks about anymore. And that is: disagreement. Have people forgotten how to disagree? I think yes. Big problem.

Look, let’s be honest: disagreement used to be normal. People disagreed at the dinner table, in classrooms, in politics, everywhere. They shook hands, had dessert, went home. It was fine. It was strong. It was college. Nobody got canceled, nobody's video was lived. Nobody was unfollowed. It was simple, it was strong, it was honest. Today? People are afraid. They don’t want to say “I disagree.” They don’t want to look rude. They just nod, they scroll, they say “that’s fine” when it’s not fine at all. Very sad.

Why Disagreement Matters

You know, disagreement is not a bad thing. Believe me. It’s a good thing. It is energy. It is fuel. It’s what makes ideas better. It means you’re thinking. It means you’re alive. Some of the greatest minds in history, they disagreed. Lincoln disagreed. Churchill disagreed. Even Einstein disagreed, and he was pretty smart, I have to tell you.

In literature, and I read a lot, trust me, the best critics disagreed with the biggest writers. Tolstoy hated Shakespeare, hated him, but both are remembered today. And now, Elon Musk disagrees with Sam Altman every day. Disagreement keeps culture alive. Without it, everything is boring, flat, lifeless.

I remember arguing with my teacher about whether Oliver Twist was overrated. She said, “It’s a masterpiece.” I said, “It’s whining on paper.” We went back and forth, and you know what? I learned more in that disagreement than from weeks of silent reading.

The Fear of Disagreeing

But now? People don’t want to argue. They say, “I respect all opinions.” No! Respect means you care enough to respond. To push back. To say, “I don’t think so.” We’ve made disagreement into an insult. We think if you disagree, you’re attacking the person. Wrong. You’re attacking the idea. Big difference.

One disagreement, and People say you’re the worst person ever. Over nothing! Over pineapple on pizza, or over a Marvel movie. Can you believe it? Ridiculous.

And Gen Z, hello, this is worse. On social media, if you disagree, boom, you’re blocked. You're dissed on on LinkedIn even. If you like Gossip Girl more than Euphoria, you’re “out of touch.” If you say Hemingway is boring, people think you hate literature itself. It’s insane.

People Take Disagreements Personally

We think if you don’t agree with me, you don’t like me. Wrong! Totally wrong. You can disagree with someone and still love them. Still be friends. Still eat dinner. Still go to the movies. In fact, it’s better that way.

The Other Side: Why People Avoid It

Now, let’s be fair. People avoid disagreeing because it’s exhausting. We’ve seen fights blow up on Twitter over nothing. Who wants that stress? Sometimes agreeing is easier, safer. And yes, sometimes silence is kindness. If your friend is crying and says 13 Reasons Why changed their life, maybe that’s not the time to say, “Actually, it’s problematic.”

Disagreement has its place. It needs timing, tact. Nobody wants every conversation to become a battlefield. People avoid disagreeing because the world already feels like a fight. That’s real.

Personal Example: Disagreeing With My Best Friend

I’ll give you one: my best friend loved The Summer I Turned Pretty. I thought it was predictable, like cotton candy (yes I have watched it too). We argued. She said, “You’re being pretentious.” I said, “You’re being basic.” We laughed, we shouted, we ended up eating samosas at 10 p.m. Still friends. Stronger friends, maybe. Because we dared to disagree.

Now imagine if I had just said, “I haven't watched it.” Boring. Fake. Friendship (without sparks), who knows!

The Big Picture

So what’s the truth? Have people forgotten how to disagree? Maybe. Or maybe we’ve just forgotten how to do it with style. With respect. With humor. With love. The problem isn’t disagreement. the problem is how we do it. Too loud, or too quiet. Too personal, or too fake.

I say this: bring back disagreement. Honest, sharp, respectful disagreement. Don’t be afraid to disagree. Don’t be afraid to say, “I think different.” Do it respectfully, do it smart, but do it. 

Let’s argue books, politics, movies, cricket. everything. Let’s do it with energy, with passion. Let’s say what we mean, not what we think will get likes. And worse, let's not ask ChatGPT what it thinks on our behalf. Let's first begin to think for ourselves.

So go out there, argue, debate, challenge each other. But after, shake hands, smile, have dessert. Maybe even a little ice cream. Because at the end of the day, disagreement is democracy. It’s freedom. It’s strength.

Because if we all agree on everything, then nobody’s thinking. And a world without disagreement? That’s not harmony. That’s just silence. And silence is the saddest thing of all.

#SpeakYourMind #DisagreeWithRespect #CollegeReunion #DebateCulture #CivilityInConversation